The List (Inc 2 Outtakes) by LauraCullen COMPLETE, T - Z
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Fanfiction Based On Characters From Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight Series
Rated MA for Mature Content. Strong Language & Sexual Content
The List
By LauraCullen
Summary: Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-
to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in
fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list...
~*~
One you’veandenjoyedthisstory,whynotshowtheauthorsomelove,andreview
~*~
Chapter 1: Frustrated
"Argh!" I vented my frustration into my pillow, hoping Edward was far enough away not to hear. Emmett
and Jasper had just come to claim him for an overnight hunting trip, but not before we had spent the
previous hour on my bed, kissing me into a frenzied state of arousal. I had no idea how I would possibly
make it through the next four weeks until the wedding without literally exploding.
Something needed to give.
Don't get me wrong. I
love
Edward's kissing. I love kissing him. And he has been willing to push his
boundaries, even if only a little. The first time he let me take his tongue into my mouth, for example, I
almost passed out. Having not only the sweetness of his breath but the incredible nectar of his taste inside
of me caused a nearly overwhelming sense of euphoria. The first time he licked me from collar bone to jaw
my heart threatened to pound out of my chest. One time he even wrapped his lips around his teeth and
nibbled on my ear. This was all unbearably good.
But then, there was always that point when Edward would pull back. And he'd either leave to go hunting,
like he had tonight, or wrap me up in a cocoon of blankets, effectively separating our bodies. Either way, I'd
end up wanting more,
much
more. And feeling frustrated.
I understood his rationale completely. I know he's afraid of hurting me. And I know he is committed to his
early twentieth century sense of morality. And I love both his protectiveness and his gentlemanliness.
But, seriously, there's only so much a girl can take.
As I lay there on my bed, I couldn't help the fantasies that started to play out like movies against the insides
of my closed eyelids.
In one, I came into my bedroom from just showering. Not realizing Edward was there, his presence startled
me, and I dropped the towel I had wrapped around my body. In my fantasy, I wasn't at all self-conscious
about Edward seeing me naked, and no longer able to control himself, he lunged at me—in a good way, of
course—finally claiming me for his own.
In another, I managed to coax Edward
into
the shower, just so we could get used to being naked around one
another, you see. I convinced him to wash my back for me (I couldn't help myself—I snorted—I could so
tell this was a fantasy—Edward was touching my naked body!), and finally he couldn't help himself, and he
pressed me hard up against the cold tile and entered me. Ungh, the very idea of the cold hard tile pressed
behind
me at the same time as Edward's cold hard body pressed up against the front of me. It was almost
likebeingwithtwo
Oh God, there's something wrong with me.
In yet another, Edward got jealous of Mike Newton's advances at my work, and took me from behind
against the check-out counter while Mike watched from the back of the store. Wait.
What?
Where did
that
come from?
I sat up in my bed. My brain was
not
helping the situation between my legs.
All of a sudden, an unbidden thought occurred to me. There was a way I could make this better.
Could I really? Despite being eighteen years old, I was not particularly familiar with sex in
any
of its forms.
Years ago, I experimented with pleasuring myself. But I was never completely comfortable with doing so,
both because I was often left with a painful sense of longing
down there
, and because one time my mom
came into my room right after, and I swear she knew. I didn't want to chance it again.
But, maybe, it was worth trying again. The benefits seemed manifest. First, I could avoid exploding. I think
anyone would agree that was something to be avoided. Second, I could avoid pushing Edward beyond his
(limited) comfort zone. He would probably appreciate that. Third, maybe I could release some of this pre-
wedding stress. Alice's list of 'decisions that needed to be made' was driving me completely insane. And,
fourth, I could avoid exploding.
Clearly, between my make-out sessions with Edward and my overactive brain, I had plenty of material to,
um, stimulate any such efforts.
Screw it. I slid off of my bed and walked into the bathroom. Charlie was long asleep but there was little
chance of the shower waking him. It would take a freight train running through his room to have even the
chance of rousing him.
I locked the door behind me—just in case—and turned the shower on, adjusting the water to the perfect
warmth. Stripping off my clothes, I stepped in, feeling a little silly now, but even more, feeling incredibly
aroused at the very idea of some release.
I looked up.
I can't believe I'm going to do this!
I was both incredulous and excited. Gotta love those
removable showerheads.
I pulled the showerhead down and adjusted it to the firm massage setting and held it against my neck and
shoulders. The pulsating water felt wonderful on my back and relaxed me immediately.
If nothing else, I
should do this more often
. I could already feel some of my tension melting away. I bent over slightly and
moved the nozzle down to spray on my lower back and felt my body relax even further.
Slowly, my movies started playing in my head again. I moved the showerhead around to my front.
Oh!
This was better than I even imagined.
I let all the movies play out again, several times through, and even came up with a couple more: me finally
getting to have Edward in my mouth; Edward taking
me
in
his
mouth (ungh); Edward pressing me up
against a tree on the side of the meadow. The possibilities were endless!
But then I felt the frustration again. I was
so
close. But I couldn't quite get there. And then the water started
to run cold. Great. I guess this little experiment is over.
But then, something happened. I liked the cold water. The cold water was
good
. The cold
water...
felt...like...him
.
And with that image of him pressing me up against a tree in our meadow still fresh in my mind, I finally
found my release.
I threw one hand up against the tile to avoid falling over, the orgasm that finally found me being so strong
that it almost knocked me to my knees.
At least a minute passed before my brain fully returned to me. I was still breathing hard, and started
giggling. Holy crow! If that was even a fraction of what it would be like when I was actually
with
Edward, I
was going to die. And I couldn't freaking wait.
I shut off the water, now freezing cold, and towel dried myself. I was shivering, whether from the cold
water or the aftereffects of my little experiment, I wasn't sure. Either way, it wasn't unpleasant.
Returning to my room, I threw on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, a tank top, and a sweatshirt to try to
warm myself back up. I crawled into bed, actually feeling like sleep was a remote possibility this time.
I looked at the clock. It was 12:30. Edward would likely be back in about six hours. I needed to get some
sleep or I would be a zombie tomorrow. I couldn't help giggling at that.
Like we need anymore mythological
creatures in this town.
My body was sated now, but my mind was on a mission. Those fantasies had done the trick. They had
gotten rid of my frustration, kept me from exploding, and ensured that I would be a much happier Bella
tomorrow when my love returns. I needed a stockpile of such ideas to keep me going for the next four
weeks, and as I drifted off to sleep, my mind was busy conjuring up more ideas for the next time.
~*~
Chapter 2: Brainstorming Interrupted
I awoke with a start, half sitting up before my confusion lifted and I realized it was morning and I was in my
bed. I smiled softly to myself and settled back into my pillow, laying one arm across my forehead. Light was
just starting to brighten the room. I turned to my side and looked at the clock: 5:53. It was too early to be
awake. I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself to fall back asleep for a while. But then images of my
midnight shower sprang to mind, and I was awake whether I wanted to be or not.
I smiled into my covers.
GodIhaven’tfeltthisrelaxedinever?
I ran through the fantasies I had created last night. I kept coming back to the one of Edward taking me
against the tree at our meadow. He would be rough, and commanding. He would hold my hands above my
head against the tree with one hand, and hold my ass to him with the other so I could wrap my legs around
himHewouldjustbeurgentandneedyandvocalaboutitall
GodThat’shot
.
Okay. We are
so
doingthatHmmthetreemaybethatwouldbesomethingbetterleftuntilIwasalittle
more durableInafantasyitsoundsgreatButwouldn’tatreehurtmyback?MaybenotifIleftmyshirt
on
God, there is truly something wrong with me.
Still,we’redoingthat
I turned back over.
What else do I want to be sure to do?
Just then, an idea came to me and I slipped out of bed, rifled around on my desk until I found the small
spiral notebook and a pen, and hopped back in bed. I kept this notebook on hand to write down story ideas
that came to me. Sometimes I liked to write short stories, although I hadn’tmadetimetodosoinawhile
I flipped to an empty page about one-thirdintothejournalandsmiledtomyselfasIwrote“TODO”atthe
top. I underlined it for emphasis.
1. Against the tree by the meadow
I thought for a minute. Not everything had to be the actual act. There were so many things short of the act
wehadn’tdoneandthatIsodesperatelywantedtodo
2. Feel his full weight on top of me
3. French kiss
4. See him naked
I was somewhat less thrilled with the flip side of that, him seeing
me
naked. But it would be worth it if it
meant he would be sans clothing too.
Okay. What else?
5. Shower together
6. Against the cold tiles in the shower
Oh yeah
Thatbroughtthefullbruntoflastnight’slittleexperimentbacktomefullforce
7. Wow. This is going to be a long list.
Immortality is so going to be a good thing
. I stifled a giggle. There is
something wrong with me after all, since I, as a general rule, am not a giggler. But this whole scenario was
giggle-worthyIjustcouldn’thelpmyself.
7. In his car
8. On our lab table
Hecouldgetusinthere,couldn’the?
Just then, a noise at my window broke my train of thought. I shoved the notebook under my pillow. My
heart was thundering in my chest.
He jumped lithely through the window and looked over at me, surprised to find me awake. A smile
brightened his beautiful face and he took a step towards me and froze. A strange expression shadowed
across his face.
“Hi”Ismiledupathimwonderingabouthisbehavior
DoesheknowwhatIwasnohow could he?
“Hi”hesaidnotbreathing
Ipushedmyselfintoasittingposition“Areyouokay?”
He nodded and his face softened. His mouth opened but then closed. He was starting to worry me. I pushed
the covers off of me and sat up on my knees to get closertohim“Edwardwhathappened?What’swrong?”
His eyes dilated and he seemed startled.
“Bellaum”BeforehefinishedhisthoughthewasonmeHewoundonearmtightlyaroundmywaist
pulling my body hard against his. He threaded his other hand into my hair, allowing him to press his mouth
against mine hungrily. I closed my eyes and while I still had brain function could easily imagine this as the
kind of kiss that would land us urgent and panting against that tree.
I moaned into his mouth and, deciding it was going to end too soon whether I was cooperative or not, I
fistedmyhandsintohishairandheldhisfacetomyownMyheartskippedtwobeatswhenhedidn’tpull
away. Instead, he ran open-mouthed kisses across my jaw to my ear, allowing me to catch my breath, and
then down my neck to my collar bone. I scratched my nails across his scalp and down his neck and he
moaned.
Ididn’thearthatsoundoftenbutwhenIdidIthoughtIwoulddiefromtherawnessandhonestyofit
I had no idea what had gotten into him, but I wanted more.
He kissed his way back up my neck and offered another fiery kiss. He pulled away slightly and looked at me.
His eyes were dark and heavy lidded. I leaned forward and kissed him softly on the cheek. I placed my
hands on either side of his neck and, hesitating for a just a moment, stuck my tongue out and brazenly
licked the length of his jawline—the strength of which I had always admired—to his ear. Upon reaching my
destinationIwhispered“Youtasteamazing”
Before I knew it I was on my back on my bed and Edward was hovering above me. Was this really
happening? Was Edward really giving in? What had brought this about?
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