The Magic of Neuro Linguistic Programming, SAMOKSZTAŁCENIE, Personal Development
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The Magic of Neuro Linguistic Programming
NLP or Neuro linguistic programming, the brainchild of two Americans, Richard Bandler and John
Grinder in the early 70s, studies how we put our thoughts together, how we know what we know
and how we construct our experiences. It is a process oriented psychology that concentrates on
the “
how”
of a problem and not the “
what”
(content) and the “
why”
(blames and excuses).
Subjective experience’ includes what goes on inside your mind, as well as in the outside world and
is a combination what we see, hear and feel and since this cannot be precise with statistical
formulae, it can only be in the form of models which is different for everyone. All our thoughts,
emotions, memories and imaginings are made from pictures, sounds and sensations. The
differences in our subjective experiences come from a myriad of sequences and placing we can
make with the sounds, pictures and sensations and in the choice of the subject matter that
attracts us and also in the preference of the sense we use to gather information from outside.
We each perceive the world in which we live, uniquely and subjectively (our map of the world or
internal representations). We see values, which together make up our `mindset’, which may not
make sense to other people, in the same way as how some people think and behave, often
doesn’t make sense to us. None of us, however, has a monopoly on what scientists might call
‘objective reality’.
Neuro
refers to our neurology i.e. our five senses, through which we are in contact with the
outside world e.g., visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory.
Linguistic
refers to the language, both verbal and non-verbal, used to express our neural
representations like thoughts and emotions. The body language often reflects our thinking, which
determines how you influence and communicate with others and yourself. (Imagine the body
posture of a depressed person and happy person).
Programming
reflects the highly mechanistic way that we behave in this world expressed as
habits, beliefs, and stereotypes. Everybody is programmed in some way or the other and these
patterns you use affect the balance of your life.
It shows that success is the result of specific pattern of thinking and pinpoints the mental
program, so that it can be learned by anyone. It is concerned with what happen when we think,
and the effect of our thinking on our behaviour and that of others. It facilitates ones
communication both within and with others in a way that makes a difference between mediocrity
and excellence.
The creators of NLP, Richard Bandler, a computer scientist & mathematician and John Grinder, a
linguist, in their attempt to study the structure of excellence, observed leading therapists such as
Virginia Satir (family therapy), Fritz Perls (gestalt), and Milton H. Erickson (medical hypnosis) in
addition to successes in other fields.
They discovered that their subjects repeated the same sequence of behavior for each desired
outcome (purpose) and this behaviour had a noticeable structure. They made describable models
for themselves of the behaviour of the people they were studying and noted that when they
adjusted their own behaviour in line with the models, they could get the same results as their
subjects time after time.
NLP is the study of human excellence. To understand this better, take the example of certain
specialized sporting activity like skiing which until recently was thought to be a matter of natural
talent. Researchers, who studied frame by frame, the films of important sportsmen and divided
the smooth motion into isolates or the smallest units of behaviour, found that although they had
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very different styles, they were using the same isolates. When these isolates were taught to the
beginners, they improved immediately.
The key was to identify the essence of their skills (isolates), so that others could learn. In NLP this
is called modeling and the key movements (isolates) are found in your inner thoughts, like words,
pictures, feelings or even beliefs. Take the example of a recipe for making a cake, if you use all
the ingredients and follow the steps, the result will be a cake nearly as good as the recipe
intended. (An improvement for you in any case)
NLP exercises are like thought experiments, mental exercises or like a game
.
Imagine watching yourself on a giant wheel or a fast carriage from far and then stepping into your
seat and experiencing the ride. These two different perspectives have different mental structures.
Being on the ride is engaging and exciting and is known in NLP terms as being
‘associated’
;
while watching the ride is calming and detached and is known as being
‘disassociated’
.
Discovering these differences and putting them to use is fundamental to NLP. If you want to get
excited about something you need to get involved physically and mentally (associated) and on the
other hand, if you need some mental distance to have a calm and objective view you can step out
of the picture i.e., being disassociated.
Bandler and Grinder noted that people could learn any behaviour so well consciously that they
could now let their unconscious mind take over the instigation and running of it, thus freeing up
the limited resources of the conscious mind to do other things (programming). This is aptly
illustrated by the attempt to learn to drive, where the programming is taken through four steps.
At first, watching others drive, it looks so easy, we are therefore unaware of our incompetence
(unconscious incompetence). We then realize how difficult it is to juggle the various controls,
watch the traffic, obey the signs and may find it overwhelming (conscious incompetence). We
then learn to perform the tasks but need complete attention (conscious competence). Later when
these common tasks become automatic that they slip out of the conscious mind into the
unconscious (subconscious), thereby freeing the conscious mind to listen to the radio, think, plan,
talk or simply look around.
There clearly still remains a link between the conscious and the unconscious mind which is
apparent when driving unconsciously especially when effect is required to deviate from the
average driving to make conscious decisions i.e. to stop at a traffic light etc.
Subjects that Bandler and Grinder studied were unable to describe how and why they behaved the
ways that they did (unconscious competence level). They noticed slight differences in the body
and verbal language of their subjects depending on the tasks undertaken, which varied with the
different ways the information was
processed
in each individual.
They noted that each individual, experienced differently not because the world is different, but
because each individual processed the experience in a different way. The example can be of two
people standing side by side with a dog running towards them, one person may run away while
the other stays to pat the dog. They both had different subjective experience (reality), their map
of the world, which guided their behaviour.
People make maps by gathering information externally through the five senses e.g., sight (visual),
sound (auditory), touch or feeling (kinesthetic), taste (gustatory) and smell (olfactory), and then
process them internally to re-present a representation (map) of the external experience. This
process is done by passing the information through their mental filters of beliefs and values,
memories, habits and so the eventual map (internal representation) is an edited version of what
really happens. In NLP the five senses are known as representational systems or modalities.
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Moreover, each individual has his or her own method (preference) to gather, process and re-
present the information (predicates). For e.g., a person might describe a situation in
visual
terms
i.e., ‘Oh I see it now’, ‘things are looking bright’ (visual) etc. Another would use sound terms like
‘it is loud and clear’, ‘that rings a bell’ (auditory), and someone else would say, ‘smooth as silk’
(kinesthetic). These preferred channels are known as predicates. Most of the difficulties in
communication are usually due to the participants using different predicates in their conversation
and so if you keep using auditory words to a visual person, i.e. use a representational system
different to that of the receiver, they will unconsciously have to translate internally to their own
system, i.e. translate your auditory words to his visual format.
The five senses (modalities) can be further subdivided into the subdivisions of what they can do
(submodalities). This concept greatly increases the degree of accuracy of how each individual
represents information. For e.g., sight (visual) can be bright, dim, different size, shape, sharps,
fuzzy coloured or lack of it, far, near etc. Sound can be loud or quiet different pitch, tempo, tone,
etc. (E.g., fine tuning your TV).
Each individual is unique in the way he/she represents experience into subjectivity, both in
modalities and sub-modalities. It is therefore important to direct all your attention to the outside
while communicating, so that you can detect the predicates in others and modify your language to
suit those predicates to make the communication more effective.
Bandler and Grinder also discovered that individuals seem to communicate using consistent
structures of language, which over time can be recognized through repeating patterns. They also
realized that people who used similar language patterns quickly developed a deep rapport and
when not aligned, they got confused, or they argued, or found difficult to understand each other.
It has been noticed that it is possible to self manipulate and be manipulated by others into
changing the structure of internal patterns, in order to change what any experience means to an
individual or self E.g., by changing the way you see a thing, you can change the effect of the
subjective experience of the sight. E.g., making a picture coloured, or black and white-seeing it
from far, making it small or bog, changing the sound or the voice.
Eye accessing cues
External behaviors that indicate what kind of internal mental processing a person is doing are
called ‘accessing cues’. The most easily noticed accessing cues are eye movements. You have
seen people look up, down, away, and through you countless times when they were thinking i.e.
searching their brain for the information. These eye movements can be an important source of
information about the structure of a person’s inner world i.e. how they process and store
information as memories.
We all store the information that we have learnt from birth as pictures, sounds and feelings.
Pictures are stored in the top part of our brains. Sounds are stored in the middle and feelings are
stored in the bottom. When a person is looking up and to their right they are accessing
‘constructed images’. Looking up and to the left accesses ‘remembered images’. Accessing for a
new sound ‘auditory constructed’ the eyes move to the right. Eye level and over to the left is the
accessing cue for remembered sound. When you look down and to your right may be a way to
access certain sensations. Down left indicates internal auditory processing (self-talk).
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UP RIGHT UP LEFT
LEVEL RIGHT
Constructed Images
Remembered Images Constructed Sound
LEVEL LEFT
DOWN RIGHT
DOWN LEFT
Remembered Sounds
Feelings
Self Talk
PRESUPPOSITIONS OF NLP
The methodology of NLP is based on some basic assumptions and beliefs known as
presuppositions.
1.
NLP is a model of generation:
It generates new behaviour and not repairs old ones. If
what you are doing is not working, do something else. IF WE ALWAYS DO WHAT WE ALWAYS
DID, WE WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT WE ALWAYS GOT.
2.
The map is not the territory: Our
internal experience is our map of the world and is
reflected by our external behaviour. Every communication a person makes has validity in his or
her map of the world. Reality is what you make of it. We do not see the world as it really is,
but construct a model of it. Our perceptions are filtered through our senses and we interpret
our experiences in the light of our beliefs, interests, upbringing, preoccupation and state of
mind.
3.
Respect the other person’s map of the world:
Accept that we are all different with
different maps of reality (experiences). This makes rapport easy and thereby making change
possible. We all travel through the same territory but with different maps. Throughout history,
people have fought and died in arguments over whose map was right.
4.
There are no failures but feedback:
Failure is an unprecedented opportunity to learn, no
matter what happens. If you look at
your mistakes
in relation to your goal (outcome) and
other successes, then
they are feedback.
But if you see them as failures, then it is a dead
end. All results and behaviors are achievements (have positive intentions). They are the
desired outcome for a given task/context and if not they provide valuable information for
change.
5.
The part of the system with the most flexibility controls the system:
Flexibility means
having more choices in the communication interaction. (If you have only one choice you are a
robot; if you have two choices, then you have a dilemma; if you have more than two choices
then you have flexibility). The entire point of being flexible in behaviour is that you can
change your behaviour till you get the response you want.
6.
A person cannot communicate:
One always gets an answer if one has the capacity to
direct his attention to the outside. Nonverbal responses usually are more significant than the
words in the communication process. The meaning of the communication is the response it
gets and not what is said and so it is not
what
you say but
how
you say it that matters.
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7.
Behaviour is geared to adaptation and present behaviour is the best choice
available at that time,
(which may not be the best choice). Underlying every behaviour is a
positive intention. E.g., if you are engaged to clean a tiger cage and suddenly the faulty door
lets the tiger in – the last thing in your mind is that you were engaged to clean the place –
you run for your life!
Alcoholism, smoking, fears, all have some positive intention. The idea
is to incorporate these intentions in the behavior that replaces these habits I.E. Can you get
what you want without these unwanted behaviors.
8.
People have an infinite amount of resources:
they might need help to access the
resources at the appropriate time and place. If it is possible for one then it is possible for
anyone; it is just a matter of time.
9.
Behaviour and change should be evaluated in terms of context and ecology.
There
may be times and places when they may not be appropriate.
SIX LEGS OF NLP
These are the basic principles, which help to guide us through the workings of NLP.
1.
Get into a resourceful frame of mind.
If you are not in the proper mood, nothing you do
is going to be effective. Anchoring a past success helps you to get into a resourceful state.
2.
Know your outcome.
Make clear positive mental pictures of the things you wish to achieve
before you undertake any task and anchor it.
If we don’t know what we want then we
won’t know when we get it.
3.
Rapport is one of the most important.
It is a way of creating an oneness with the other
person by matching their body language, breathing or tone of voice. Rapport is a state one
enters by continuing to match and mirror. It means that the other person has a sense of ease
and comfort and familiarity when communicating with you and also that the other person is
being responsive, and is receptive to your ideas.
4.
Sensory Acuity
is having your senses tuned to what is happening around you. I.e., watching
the response to know if what you are doing is working and if not to change what you are
doing to get the effect required by your deed or communication. This would mean opening all
or most of your receptive doors (senses) to the outside.
5.
Have behavioural flexibility.
The part of the system with the most flexibility ends up
controlling the system.
6.
Take action.
Vision without action is just a dream; action without vision passes time; action
and vision can change the world.
Unfortunately, unlike external phenomena, we cannot examine our unique, subjective experience
in a laboratory. NLP is only a model – a model of the way minds work that is straight forward and
practical – the start of a user manual. It is not `right’ or `wrong’, it’s only as useful as it is useful.
Minds are very complex, each of them is different and as a result we all have different ways or
relating to the world. Coming back to the cake, when you bake a cake you require several things-
a list of ingredients, a recipe, and some physical skills. Most of these are available to everyone yet
some people consistently make better cakes than others. NLP is the study of what make the
difference between world-class cake bakers and us, who are just competent. Most of the time the
difference depends on what happens in our heads.
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