The Neighbor Boy by Ooohlalaaa, T - Z
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
The Neighbor Boy by
ooohlalaaa
My entry for the "Su mmer of S mut" contest. Bella is determined to seduce her nerdy, inexperienced
neighbor in order to spice up her summer. Rated M for some awkward lemons and swearing. B/E.
One-shot. Rated:
M
- English - Humor/Romance - Bella & Edward - Reviews:
39
- Published: 08-10-
09 - Complete - id:5291847
This is my entry for the Summer of Smut Contest. It's totally just for fun, and kind of
awkward and lame, but that's how I roll. It's the first one shot that I've ever done and the
first contest I've entered sooo, let me know what you think :) MWA!
Summer of Smut Contest
Title: The Neighbor Boy
Pen name: ooohlalaaa
Smut Category: B/E Smut
It all started the summer before my senior year of high school.
The days had been abnormally hot, my best friend, Alice, was spending the summer break in
Europe, and tanning on my front lawn had lost it’s appeal. I was boiling, a couple UV rays away
from melanoma, and bored to tears. And boredom did some bizarre, unexplainable things to my
psyche.
Luckily, Neighbor Boy was there to shake the monotony of my life up a little bit.
To be perfectly honest, he was a bit of a creeper. Not in the scary, call the po-po kind of way…
more like the, “
I’m a dorky 17 year old virgin, and I’m going to be for a long,
long
time
,” kind of
way.
Neighbor Boy went to an all boys Catholic school, so we never had much interaction throughout
our lives besides for running into each other from time to time out in the driveway. I didn’t have
the desire to get to know him, being that he had librarian glasses, frequented the local hobby
shop, and played piano on Friday nights. Dorko Supremo.
He was a total doofus as far as I could tell, and that summer had only strengthened my beliefs
that Neighbor Boy was in desperate need for some sexual interaction, being that I’d caught him
more than once peeping on me tanning through his window. I’m pretty sure binoculars had been
involved once. It was weird.
But, as I said, boredom and monotony brought desperation, so one dull, July afternoon, I decided
to have a little fun. Being that my father was either too cheap or a sadist, we had no pool, so that
left me with the garden hose and a sprinkler as my only means of cooling off. Frolicking through
the sprinkler seemed kind of corny, so I decided on an impromptu car wash. Kill two birds with
one stone and all that.
So, there I was, mid-soaping, dancing around and bobbing my head to the music blaring from my
boom box, when all of a sudden I look up and Neighbor Boy is grilling the shit out of me from
his second story window.
I mean, the kid had to have
wanted
to get caught. A mesh screen isn’t exactly a two way mirror;
either he had gone retarded or his creepiness had skyrocketed to another level- one where he
didn’t even care that the prey he was scoping out was aware that they were being stalked. I was
torn between stomping over to his house and ball tapping him or Googling “Restraining Order.”
Instead, I rolled my eyes, dipped my sponge in the soapy bucket, and threw that thing full throttle
right against Neighbor Boy’s screen. He jumped backward and I crossed my fingers, hoping
some soap splashed into his pervy eyeballs.
He didn’t go back to the window, so I lost interest and started hosing off my truck. My dad had
some advanced nozzle with different settings, so being that I had nothing better to do, I began
testing each one by spraying random flowers, my mailbox, and someone’s cat. I was in the midst
of testing out the “jet” setting and trying to shoot it into Neighbor Boy’s open sunroof of his
prissy little Volvo, when suddenly I heard someone clearing their throat and I flinched.
“Can you
not
do that?”
Holy Puberty Fairy
. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as Neighbor Boy strolled up to me,
shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of navy blue board shorts. Then, I noticed the waistband of
his
ThunderCats
boxers hanging out, and I snapped back to reality. He was such a fucking
dweeb. In all due respect though, he was shaping out to be a pretty hot dweeb.
I squinted at him as he ran his fingers through the reddish-tinged mop on his head and stuck out
his other arm, attempting to hand me a glass of lemonade. “You look hot,” he mumbled
nervously. “Well, not hot like
that
… warm, I guess? Temperate… whatever.”
Temperate? Had he really just used the word
temperate
? I stared blankly at him for a few
seconds before snatching the glass out of his hand and taking a couple sips of the lemonade,
praying he hadn’t spiked it with some Flunitrazepam. I dropped the hose onto the ground and we
stood there in silence as I swallowed down what was left in the glass and inspected Neighbor
Boy’s new physique. He had gotten taller, but he was still super skinny. For some reason though,
his awkward, lanky build almost seemed semi-attractive to me.
Also, the glasses were MIA, and I don’t know if it was because of the sunlight, or because I was
dehydrated, or maybe my blood sugar was low or something, but his eyes seemed really big
and…
green
. Neighbor Boy’s sexy eyes were doing crazy things to my uterus. Who would’ve
thought?
Alright, fine. Maybe I was being a little bitter and not giving him enough credit because his
nerdy tendencies were far too great for me to just overlook. Whatever. I was desperate, but not
that
desperate. He drove a
Volvo
, for fucks sake.
I handed him back the glass once it was empty and smiled. “Thanks.” He blushed like a pansy
and turned to walk back to his house, and
that
was when I saw it. My world no longer made
sense. “Neighbor Boy, hold it right there!”
He stopped walking and looked over his shoulder, raising one of his thick eyebrows at me.
“What?”
I took a few steps toward him and stuck my arm out, poking the little black marks that were
sticking out of the waistband of his boxers near the bottom of his back.
“Is that a…
tramp stamp
?”
He sneered and pulled his shorts up to hide the tattoo and laughed nervously. “What?
No
! I… it’s
not… just shut up, Bella.”
“Does your mommy know about that, Neighbor Boy?”
“I have a name,” he snapped, taking a step back from me.
“Right, Edwin, whatever.”
“It’s Edward.”
“Same thing,” I said, waving my hand. “So you have a tramp stamp. Don’t only girls get those?
Does that mean you’re gay?”
“No!” His eyes bugged out of his head a little before he half-ran, half-tripped back to his house
without another word. Apparently he scared easily. Considering what a stalker he was, I figured
he’d have thicker skin.
Still, I was in shock. I mean, the geek next door had a tattoo. He was 17. That was bad ass, in my
eyes. And not to sound smug, but I’d considered myself to be as bad ass as they come. I
frequently took part in activities that were illegal/immoral just for the fun of it. I unintentionally
made my dad’s life so stressful I’m pretty sure he was going bald because of me. I wore leather
occasionally, and when the weather allowed it. But Neighbor Boy had one-upped me with his
underage tattoo-age.
My world was rocked.
It was right there, standing in my driveway in my bikini next to my freshly washed truck that I
had my revelation. Maybe there was more to Neighbor Boy- or
Edward
, as he liked to call
himself- than what met the eye? Or maybe not, but either way, I planned on figuring it out. It was
my summer conquest. Operation: de-virginize the weird, stalking, uber-geek next door. Christ,
my life was pathetic.
I spent the rest of that day trying to come up with some kind of a game plan. Obviously it was
going to be easy to get Neighbor Boy to succumb to my sexual advances, but I had a reputation
to uphold. I was already lowering my standards to an embarrassing level by having a semblance
of interest in the awkward moron in the first place, and being easy would’ve just killed all of my
self-respect. I was going to make him want it so badly, he was practically drooling. I patted
myself on the back for finally finding
something
to take up my time.
Edward seemed like the kind of kid that went to sleep at like… ten. After his mom fed him
cookies and read him a bedtime story. I wasn‘t sure, so I waited until all the lights in his house
were off before I crept outside and picked up a handful of pebbles from my driveway.
I chucked one at his window, and it made a tiny clicking noise that was barely audible. Nothing
happened. It was lame. I chucked another one; same deal. My patience was limited, so I pulled
my arm back and tossed the handful of pebbles at his window as hard as I could, and…
Lo and
Behold
, Neighbor Boy woke up out of his cookie induced slumber.
He pulled the screen up and stuck his head out of the window, looking pretty irritated and still
half asleep.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
“I’m bored. Were you sleeping?”
Obviously
he was sleeping. His coif was even sloppier than it
had been that afternoon. I just needed an icebreaker.
“Uh, yeah. It’s one in the morning.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed loudly. “Neighbor Boy, it’s come to my attention
that you have an in ground pool which I’ve never swam in before.”
“It’s Edward,” he grumbled as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “And yeah. Sorry.
You can go in it tomorrow if you want.”
“Tomorrow? No. How about right now?” He blinked a couple times, his face blank, and said
nothing. “Um, hello?”
“Go in the pool if you want. Goodnight.”
“No, you idiot! I don’t want to go in
alone
. Throw a bathing suit on over those titillating
ThunderCat
boxers and meet me in the backyard, stat.”
Without letting him answer, I skipped toward the Cullens’ backyard and stood at the sliding glass
doors, waiting for Neighbor Dork to show his face. Finally, a dim light turned on inside and his
gangly silhouette emerged in the doorway. He stepped outside, yawning, and looked me up and
down.
“Are you being serious?” he asked with a whisper, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. He
had the glasses on, and the same shorts he’d been wearing earlier, except now he had this tight,
gray v-neck on and he kind of looked bangable. It relieved me a little bit that it wasn’t only
because he was half naked earlier that I thought he looked almost-hot. He
was
almost-hot, even
clothed.
Just to show him quite how serious I was being, I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it
onto one of the patio chairs. His cheeks turned red, and his neck got a little splotchy. It was
pitiful. Neighbor Boy was all stalk and no show.
I gave him the hairy eyeball and stepped out of my shorts before tiptoeing over to his diving
board and bouncing up and down on it a few times.
“Be quiet, please,” he whisper-shouted at me as he walked toward the edge of the pool. “My
parents are sleeping.”
He stuck his foot in the water and wiggled it around, making little ripples throughout the pool.
“So what? Are you not allowed to swim in your own pool?”
Without letting him answer I dove into the water with poise, not even making a splash. When I
came back up, Edward was sitting on the ground, his long, skinny legs dangling over the edge of
the pool. I swam up to him and grabbed one of his ankles, trying to yank him in the water.
“Stop,” he said, letting out a laugh and trying to shake his leg out of my grasp. “I don’t want to
go in.”
“It’s like 85 degrees out right now. It’s sweltering. How do you
not
want to come in?”
“What are you even doing here?”
Subtlety was not Edward’s strong suit. I huffed and grabbed the edge of the pool with my
fingertips as I tried to think up some kind of explanation. “I told you. I was bored.”
“Seventeen years and
now
you’re bored?”
“You sit in your room and stalk me-”
“I don’t stalk you,” he said with a sigh, cutting me off.
“Oh, sorry. What exactly are you doing? Bird watching?”
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]