The Sun Behind the Sun Behind the Sun, Osho, Collections
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TheSunBehindtheSunBehindtheSun
Talksgivenfrom1/1/78to31/1/78
DarshanDiary
CHAPTER
1
1January1978pminChuangTzuAuditorium
Satmeanstruth,being,existence,rahasyameansmystery,mysteriousness.Truthismysterious.It
cannotbeknown,itisunknowable...notunknownbutunknowable,becausetheunknowncanbe
knownsomeday,willbeknownsomeday,buttruthcanneverbeknown.That’sitsintrinsicquality.
Removeoneveilandyoufindanother.Removeanotherandyoufindstillmore,anditgoesonad
infinitum.Therecomesnopointwhereyoucansaythatthejourneyisfinished;therecomesno
pointwhereyoucansaythattheboundaryhasbeenachieved.Itisinfinite.
Themoreyouknow,themoreyouknowthatknowledgeisimpossible.Themoreyouknow,theless
youknow.Themoreyouknow,themoremysteriouslifebecomes.Itisamystery–thesunbehind
thesunbehindthesun.Yougetthroughonemysteryandyousimplystumbleintoanother,andthe
otherisfardeeperthanthefirst.Butthatdoesnotmeanthatonecannotlivetruth;onecanlive,one
canbe,butonecannotknow.Sotherealseekerisnotsearchingforwhattruthis;heissearching
tofindhowtoliveit.That’swherefaithcomesin,trustcomesin.Withoutknowingityoustartliving
itfirst.
Itisalmostlikeawomangettingpregnant:shedoesnotknowhowthepregnancyreallyhappens,
shedoesnotknowhowthechildisgoingtogrow.Sheknowsnothingaboutthemysterybutthechild
isgrowingallthetimeandthewomanbecomesthemother.Notthatsheknowshowlifearrives,
howitgrows;sheknowsnothing.Exactlylikethat,onehastobecomeawombfortruth.Onejust
hastobefeminine,open,andonedaysomethingpenetrates.Thatpenetrationtransformsyouand
youstartlivingonadifferentplane;yourqualitychanges,yourattitudeschange.Theworldremains
thesame,butitisnomorethesamebecauseyouarenomorethesame....Butyouneverknow.
Youcanlovetruth.Thatisthemeaningoffaith:lovingsomethingthatyouhavenotseen,loving
somethingthatisnotprovable,lovingsomethingthatisalmostunbelievable,thatinfactshouldnot
beiftheworldislogical,lovingsomethingwhichyoufeelbutyoucannotknow.
2
CHAPTER1.
Feelingispossible.Truthentersthroughtheheart,notthroughthehead.
[Asannyasinasksaboutherproblem:It’saboutshock.Afterprimal,inthelastdaysofprimal,Ihad
afeelingofanguish...Ifeelafraid.]
Itisnothingtobeworriedaboutandyouhavetoallowit.Youhavebeenresisting,youhavebeen
tryingtoavoidit.Thisissomethingbeautifulthatiscomingveryveryclosetoexploding.Itisthe
deathoftheegothatisverycloseby,hencethefearandanguish.Youshouldbehappythatitis
comingclose,butthefearisalsonatural.
Itfeelsalmostasifoneisgoingtodie.Becauseyoudon’tknowyourself;youknowonlytheego.
Youknowtheegoasyourself;youdon’tknowthatyouarenottheego,thatyouarethewitness
ofit,thatyouareutterlyseparatefromit,thatitisjustacloudintheskyandyouarethesky,and
theclouddisperses.Nothingtobeworriedabout.Theskywillnotdispersebecausethecloudhas
dispersed;infacttheskywillbecomemoreclean,moreclearwhenthecloudisgone.Butformany
livesonegoesonthinkingofoneselfasthecloud,sowhenthecloudstartsdispersing,feararises,
panicarises.
Anditwillalwaysarisewhenyourelaxbecauserelaxationisagainsttheego.Theegoisperfectly
happywhenyouaretense;theegolivesoutoftensions,itisnourishedbytension.Whenyouare
tense,occupied,engaged,doingthisandthatandthinkingthisandthat,whenyouareinfragments,
rushingallovertheplace,–thentheegoisperfectlyhappy,itcannotdie,thenthereisnofearfor
theego.Butwhenyouaresittingsilentlylisteningtomeoryourelaxorsitwithclosedeyes,again
thetensiondisappears,andwiththetensiongonetheegostartsfeelingthedanger.Whentension
disappearsyouhavepulledouttheveryearthfromunderneaththeego.That’swhyitishappening
inrelaxation.
Downtheagesmastershavebeenteachingpeopletorelaxjustforthesinglereasonthatwhenyou
reallyrelaxtheegowillbegone.Theegoandconsciousnesscannotrelaxtogether;theegocannot
relaxandarelaxedconsciousnesscannothavetheego.
Itislikeicemelting:whentheicemelts,theicewilldisappear;theicecanremainonlyifmeltingis
prevented.Relaxationisamelting,andthefrozeniceoftheegocannotexistifthingsstartmelting.
Theegocanexistonlyifyouremainfrozen,shrunk,tense.
Somethingimmenselyvaluableisbythecorner.
Don’tbefrightened;Iamwithyou.That’smypurposehere,thatisthemeaningofsannyas:that
whendangerarisesyoucanalwaysaskforhelp,youcanalwaystrustandgoahead.Youcan
continuouslyrememberthatIamthere:ifsomethinggoeswrong,Iwilltakecare.
Sonexttime,whenyourelaxjusttakeholdofthelocketinyourhand,closeyoureyesandgointo
it.Letrelaxationhappenandletthefearbethere.Justtakenoteofit,thatitisthere,butdon’tbe
disturbedbyit,don’tbedistractedbyit.Say,’Fear...fear,’andrelax!
Andyouwillbesurprised–itcannotdoanythingtoyouifyoudon’tgetaffectedbyit,itcannot
disturbyouevenalittlebit.Ithasnopower.Yougivepowertoitwhenyoucooperatewithit;when
TheSunBehindtheSunBehindtheSun 3
CHAPTER1.
youstandbehindit,itispowerful.Whenyouslipoutofitandyousay,’Okay,youbethereandIam
notgoingtocooperateanymore’...whenyoucopout,itisimpotent,itisadeadsnakeitcan’tdo
anything.Yougivelifetoit,youpourenergyintoit,becauseyouhaveenergy;ithasnoenergy,itis
justanidea.Soallowit.
[Asannyasinwhosesonandgrandsonareheresays:I’vestillbeentoomuchinvolvedwithmysons
andgrandsonsanddaughters-in-lawthistime.IhopenexttimeI’llbefreer.]
Thatwillbegood,mm?–itistimetobecomedisengagedfromeverything.Youhaveremained
engagedyourwholelife;nowitistime,mm?–youshouldlookmoreandmoreinwards.Notthat
onebecomesunloving...infact,onebecomesmoreloving,butoneisnomoreobsessed,oneisno
moreworried.Onestartspreparingfortherealpurposeoflife.Therealpurposeistoknowoneself,
andifthatisnotfulfilledbeforedeaththenlifehasbeenawastage;thenwhatsoeveryouhavedone
makesnosense.
Youmayhavemanychildrenandchildren’schildrenandprestigeandmoneyandfame,
respectability,everything–butthatdoesn’tmatter.Thedayyoudie,allhastobeleftbehind;you
willnotbeabletotakeanythingfromthat.Youcantakeonlyonethingwithyourselfandthatis
self-knowledge.Thatnobodycantakefromyou,notevendeathcantakeitawayfromyou.Thatis
realwealth.Moneyisnotrealwealthbecauseitisborrowedandtheworldwilltakeitbacksooneror
later.Andourrelationshipswithchildrenandchildren’schildrenaregood,butthebasicrelationship
iswithexistence,withgod.Thathastobefulfilled,otherwiseallrelationshipsarejusttoystoplay
with.Soonerorlaterdeathcomesanddestroysallthetoysandthenweareverymiserableandare
atalossastowhattodo.
Veryfewpeoplearecapableoffacingdeathbecauseveryfewpeoplehaveanythingthattheycan
takewiththemselvesandwhichdeathcannotdestroy.Whenallthatyouhavecanbedestroyedby
death,youaredestroyed,becauseyouarewhatyouhave.Whenyouhavesomethingwhichcannot
bedestroyedbydeath,thenyouknowsomethingofdeathlessness,ofimmortality,ofgod.Soby
andbybecomedisengaged.
Lovethem;butdon’tkeepyourselffocusedonthem;nowthefocushastogoinwards.Nowwe
havetocloseoureyesandseewhatisthereinside.Thereisthegreatestexperienceoflifeand
thegreatestjoy.Onceonehastastedofitthereisneveranymisery.Thenyouareneverunhappy;
whatsoeverthesituationyourhappinessremainsintact.Evendeathcannotdisturbit,illnesscannot
disturbit,oldagecannotdisturbit.Sonexttimeyouhavetobemoreconcernedaboutyourown
ultimatejourney.
...Foratleastonehoursitsilentlyandjustlookin.Inthebeginningyoumaynotbeabletosee
anything.Thereisnoworry;thereisnoneedtoseeanything,justsitsilently.Evensittingsilentlyis
initselfveryvaluable.
Firstyouwillseethoseoldthoughtsandthingsmovinginthemindbutbyandbytheyallsettle.
Thenyouwillseedarkness,sodon’tbeafraidofit.Becausewehavenevergonein,oureyes
havebecomeaccustomedtoseeonlyoutside.Sowhenwemovein,firstwefeelonlydarkness.
Thenbyandbyyoustartseeingalittlelightandonedayyousuddenlyseethatalldarknesshas
disappeared.Andtoknowthatinnerlightistoknowgod.Everyoneisashrineofgodandtheflame
isburningthere,butwedon’tlook.
TheSunBehindtheSunBehindtheSun 4
CHAPTER1.
Godgoesoncallingfromtheinnermostcoreofyourbeing,butitisaverystill,smallvoice.So
enoughofthechildrenandthegrandchildren!Andtheyareverynoisypeople.
[Asannyasinsays:I’malwayskickingmyselffordoingthingswrong,andthatI’vealwaysdone.I’m
alwaysreallytenseandIcan’trelaxatall.]
Stopkickingyourself,mm?Anddon’tstartkickingyourselfbecauseyouarekickingyourself,
otherwiseyouwillthink,’NowIhavetostop’andifyoukickyourself,youkickyourselfmore.
Mistakesareperfectlyokay,nothingiswronginmistakes.Everybodymakesthemandeverybody
hastomakethem.Don’taskforperfection.Mistakesaregood,theykeepyouhuman.Otherwise
youwilleitherbecomeinhumanorsuperhuman,andbotharenotgood.Tobehumanisvery
beautifulbuttoremainhumanonehastoerr.Andnothingiswronginmakingmistakes!Whymake
somuchfussaboutit?
Butyouhavesomeideathatyoushouldnotcommitmistakes;thenyoutortureyourselfandfeel
guiltyandcondemnyourself.Thereisnoneed;everybodycommitsmistakes.Justrememberone
thing:nottocommitthesamemistakeagain.I’mnotsayingthatyouhavetofeelguiltyforit;make
somenewmistakes!Thatishowonegrows.Getfedupwiththeoldandfindoutsomenewwaysto
commitnewmistakes.Everydaycommitatleastonenewmistake.Try:findatleastonethingtodo
wrongeveryday,andenjoyit!
Behumananddon’tkeepinhumanidealsinyourmind.That’sthespacewewanttocreatehere,a
veryhumanspacewhereeverybodyisacceptedasheis.Notthatgrowthwillnothappen;growth
willhappenonlythen–whenacceptanceisthereforoneselfasoneis.
Ifyouhavemadeamistaketherearetwowaystotreatit:oneistofeelguilty.Ifyoufeelguilty,
youwillcommitthesamemistakeagain.Guiltisthewaytohelpthemistakecomeback.Youare
trapped,becausewhenyoumakethemistakeyoustartfeelingguilty;thisisawayoflookingat
somethingelse.Youforgetthemistakeandyoustartfocusingontheguilt.Themistakewillbe
repeatedagain.
Thesecondalternativeistherightalternative:whenyoucommitamistake,seewhyyoucommitted
it,howyoucommittedit,howitgoesonhappening;gointothemechanismofit.Repeatit
deliberately,seewhyithappens,gointotheveryprocessofit.Andthereisnoneedforanyguilt.Be
scientificaboutit,gointoit:’WhydoIcommitthisagainandagain?’AndIamnotsayingthatyou
shouldnotcommitit;justfindoutwhy,howithappens,whatisthemechanism,howittakeshold
ofyou,howitarisesfromtheunconscious.Justgoandwatchthewholeprocess...andjoyously.
Thereisnoneedtofeelguiltyatall,thenyouwillnevercommititagain,becauseyouhavelooked
intoitandyouarefinishedwithit.
Guiltnevergetsridofanymistakes;itperpetuatesthem.Feelguiltyandyouwillcommitthesame
mistakeagainandagainandagain.Andyouwillfeelveryrighteoustoo,becauseyoufeelguilty–
whatelsecanyoudo?
Youwritetwoplustwoisfiveandthenyoufeelguilty.Youbeatyourself,youdon’ttakefood,you
fast;nowthisisfoolish!Howisafastgoingtocorrectyourmathematics?Howisbeatingyourself
TheSunBehindtheSunBehindtheSun 5
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